Starting Weight: 342.0
Previous Weight: 321.0
Current Weight: 322.5
My head was not in it for the majority of last week, having slid back into some dark habits of self-loathing, self-defeating mindsets. While those may not be the most accurate of words, it definitely hits the nail on the head with where my mind was. I had lost focus.
On Thursday, I checked my weight, knowing full, well what my habits had done. It was a moment of accountability. It was a slap in the face, as I was faced with the unravelling of weeks of work. I was up 4 pounds.
I opted to get off my ass and do something to stop this trend backwards into the madness. I busted my ass doing yard work for the last two days. Thankfully, I have seemed to have stopped my trend.
I mentioned last week that I could see some habits creeping back in (remember my laziness posting the update on Thursday). And I was right.
This weeks goal….again…to stay focused. I need to focus on the success I have had and remember what’s motivating me to continue. This week, I just need to stay on target.
More to come 
You can see the calorie deficit that is shown still shows improvement, but I attribute a lot of that number to the deficit achieved over the last two / three days of 2k (almost 3k).
Below is a screenshot showing what my daily averages are in the various categories tracked by my armband. FYI, I track my food in an independent app that is much easier than the app they have, but the caloric values are plugged into the BodyMedia app. Also note, I miskeyed the weight and can’t figure out how to correct it. Body Media could really improve their Activity Manager app to be a bit more user friendly for these types of things.
I know exactly what you mean about the self-loathing thought process. Sounds like too strong a word…but it’s how everyone feels at various points of this journey. It’s too easy for people to say “Don’t beat yourself up.” Riight. A more practical approach is to give yourself a short time to embrace the misery—you’ve worked so hard, you can be kind to yourself. Then let it be over & move on. You are really on the right track promising to be more focused & diving into a project like yardwork! Good job!
And that’s exactly it. I write these comments not in the vein of looking for people to feel pity for me or any of that sentiment, but more for the factor of you knowing where I’m coming from. What mental state I have been in lately. Like you said, I know not to beat myself up about these things, and I don’t. But you are right on with where I’m at this week. I’ve had that moment of embracing my misery and I’m moving on. Charging forward with visions of success.
Glad I have people like you (and Dad, Matt, Dan, etc) that are interested enough to keep following this and giving me feedback on my journey. I appreciate you all more than you know.
I go back and forth on whether it is productive to check in on things between official weigh-ins. I think last week’s check-in shows that it can be beneficial as long as it is not done in excess. Keep fighting the good fight and when you need motivation try to make your default sentiment picking up a ball and telling M or R it’s time to go outside and get active with Dad.
You also seem to be hitting something of a plateau. The raw numbers were the same for this week as they were for the previous, with a net +1lb over the two week period. Maybe time to mix things up … think about cycling calories some (have a lower activity/lower calorie day, followed by a high/high day) and hit the gym hard on the high day.
http://nutritiondiva.quickanddirtytips.com/how-to-break-a-weight-loss-plateau.aspx